We Must Be Our Own Before We Can Be Another's. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
It is Halloween. Now anyone that has kids knows that this day ranks right up there with Christmas and birthdays. I often wonder if we took the sugar out of the holiday if the costuming would be enough. Hmmmmm....
The first filming of the day was to be the school drop. Sam spent the better part of the 6 a.m. hour taping and placing cameras on and in my car and I was not at all overjoyed to be shot in two directions at 7 a.m. with 6 kids in the car. But, off we went, kissing each one of the kids goodbye as they shot out of the car and then heading home to prepare for the next shot- ME.
Rupert, Tim and the rest of the crew were already busy taking background shots and sounds of the farm (they loved our turkeys, Tom and Tim!) and the sun coming up on yet another amazing day. The lights were set at the kitchen table and Emily was awaiting my arrival so that she could wisk me away to "wardrobe" and "make-up".
After what seemed like forever with Emily and her powder, I was on my way to the kitchen table. Sam had explained that he was going to be off camera and that I needed to form my answers as complete sentences. Sounded simple enough. The kicker for me- you can't look at your interviewer when you answer-you have to look at the camera. I have spent the better part of my life learning to look people in the eye when I speak to them and countless hours sharing and honing that skill for my kids. If you have never tried speaking to a camera eye, it's disconcerting to say the least! But, I was determined and after just a few minutes and lots of off camera cues, I was well on my way.
I learned something about myself during this interview. Somewhere during the years of parenthood, I lost the ability to speak about myself. I don't look at this as being a bad thing- just uncomfortable at best. For those of you who know me, you know I have absolutely no problem talking! What I found was that simply focusing on me instead of on my life, my kids, my passions and my wishes and dreams, is a less than rosy place for me to be.
I really struggled through the first half hour. Sam would ask me questions about my childhood, my education, my work before kids- that kind of stuff. I hated it. In hind site, I look at that time in my life as a period during which I learned what I didn't want to be, who I did and didn't like (including me) and what I was going to do with the rest of my life. I was defined by power and greed, by lies and manipulation and by and within a world of selfish excess. I don't think I was ever a bad person-just lost.
Thank goodness Sam recognized my uncomfortableness and, knowing me, he knew to move along! Once in my comfort zone I was off!!!!! Now that's where I shine. Let me talk about my kids, adoption, foster care, paying it forward, living selflessly, and making a difference and I am one happy camper. Somewhere during those years of greed I learned that it just didn't matter. That is what Choice Point is all about and that is my comfort zone. Six hours later I was done. I have no idea where the time went! I only know that it was peacefully easy, awesomely rewarding and hopefully inspirational to another human being.
Tonight....Halloween!
After what seemed like forever with Emily and her powder, I was on my way to the kitchen table. Sam had explained that he was going to be off camera and that I needed to form my answers as complete sentences. Sounded simple enough. The kicker for me- you can't look at your interviewer when you answer-you have to look at the camera. I have spent the better part of my life learning to look people in the eye when I speak to them and countless hours sharing and honing that skill for my kids. If you have never tried speaking to a camera eye, it's disconcerting to say the least! But, I was determined and after just a few minutes and lots of off camera cues, I was well on my way.
I learned something about myself during this interview. Somewhere during the years of parenthood, I lost the ability to speak about myself. I don't look at this as being a bad thing- just uncomfortable at best. For those of you who know me, you know I have absolutely no problem talking! What I found was that simply focusing on me instead of on my life, my kids, my passions and my wishes and dreams, is a less than rosy place for me to be.
I really struggled through the first half hour. Sam would ask me questions about my childhood, my education, my work before kids- that kind of stuff. I hated it. In hind site, I look at that time in my life as a period during which I learned what I didn't want to be, who I did and didn't like (including me) and what I was going to do with the rest of my life. I was defined by power and greed, by lies and manipulation and by and within a world of selfish excess. I don't think I was ever a bad person-just lost.
Thank goodness Sam recognized my uncomfortableness and, knowing me, he knew to move along! Once in my comfort zone I was off!!!!! Now that's where I shine. Let me talk about my kids, adoption, foster care, paying it forward, living selflessly, and making a difference and I am one happy camper. Somewhere during those years of greed I learned that it just didn't matter. That is what Choice Point is all about and that is my comfort zone. Six hours later I was done. I have no idea where the time went! I only know that it was peacefully easy, awesomely rewarding and hopefully inspirational to another human being.
Tonight....Halloween!
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